Monday, April 25, 2005

A week in my world...

Just in case you really want to know, I will share...

Friday:
mood~8
Today I feel very good, very normal. Steady.

Saturday:
mood~8/9
Happy, but getting edgy & anxious, short-tempered, very energetic, lots of thoughts today

Sunday:
mood~7/8
Ok today. I feel more normal than I have in weeks.

Monday:
mood~8-9
Really wired today, happy and a lot going on in my brain, but I fee like I can handle a lot.

Tuesday:
mood~10
I am so happy & energetic today, I have a zillion ideas and I can't wait to work on tem. I just can't seem to move fast enough. I feel like the top of my skull has been removed and any thought is able to pass through, in and out. I want to cry a lot for some reason, as soon as something reminds me of something sad, the tears just spring right out. I'm not sad, I can't explain it. I'm just feeling a LOT.

Wednesday:
mood~10
Same as yesterday, a little more energetic, a little more weepy. I think I had the best sex of my life tonight. Slept about 3 hours last night.

Thursday:
mood~10
nervous energy~8/9
Very jittery, very anxious, but not stressed. EVERYTHING is funny today and my kids are so precious I could cry. More great sex. 2 nights in a row is (sadly) rare for us. Slept about 6 hours last night.

Friday:
mood~7/8
nervous energy
8am~7
noon~8/9
Really edgy & tense. I keep yelling at Eden :(
evening:
mood~3/4
nervous energy~3/4
Crying more, not sure why.
night:
I just want to be in bed. Keep crying and thinking tat my life is going no where. 1/2 of me wants to jump up and do something drastic, the other 1/2 of me can't even roll over for another tissue.

Saturday:
mood~4
nervous energy~4
More crying, it just keeps coming out of me. I can't stand the repetitive noises the kids are making. Slept in till 9:00.
evening:
Cheered up after several drinks and had fun playing cards with our company.

Sunday:
morning:
mood~6/7
nervous energy~3/4
After all the tears of the past couple days I can't believe how normal I feel, just... normal. I guess.
afternoon:
mood~?
nervous energy~7/8
Had a hard time in church, everything felt so huge, it was hard to get a grip. I started feeling very anxious and edgy, weepy and scatter-brained.
evening:
mood~8/9
nervous energy~ 8/9
I am EDGY, I want to cry, or run, or SOMETHING. Can not sit still, can not keep a rational logical thought. burned some energy doing a simple workout. can't sleep, can't seem to rest my mind. i an NOT comfortable or happy. considering having a few drinks and watching a movie.

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